Making the Internet My Accountability Partner

I was not the one who created this. I came across the idea on the internet, but unfortunately, I don’t remember who I saw it from. A quick internet search tells me that the idea was popularized by the YouTube channel How to ADHD. The style I followed in creating my dopamine menu was definitely based on her explanation, so I would recommend checking out her video. I have personalized this to focus less on creating the sense of reward that comes from dopamine and more on ways to fill my bucket.

The basic idea is that you have a list of options handy for moments when you need a mood booster. This eliminates the need to remember what you enjoy (something I find difficult with my depression some days) and eliminates the decision-making hurdles someone with ADHD might encounter. I’m going to break down what each category means to me and some of the items I put in each. 

Starters are small bites of joy I can find without putting in much energy. For me, I know that putting effort into my hygiene and appearance has significant dividends in my energy and motivation for the day. Other quick breaks I can give myself are opening the windows, making my bed, or lighting a candle. Breathing exercises, gratitude statements, and positive affirmations are also staples in this category.

Entrees are bigger items that take some time and energy but also have a really big payoff. Sometimes I have to hype myself up to participate in something that requires this much energy or commitment but it can help to remember that they are on this list for a reason; they’re worth the effort. Meditation, journaling, or exercise are cliches for a reason they work for so many including myself. I’ve also included things like calling a friend to remind myself that it is better than just sending memes. Reading and knitting are some of my favorite pastimes, so I made sure to include them.

Sides are things that can be used in conjunction with other tasks. That is an intentionally vague description. For me, this list includes everything from playing upbeat music or podcasts for more mindless activities to fidget toys or a fun drink for something that requires my attention. I also included making a to-do list on my sides because this is something I use to motivate myself to do something I know I already want to do but struggle with.

Desserts are items that are good in small amounts but can be detrimental with excessive indulgence. The most common item on the lists I have seen is social media. It can be really nice to check in on my friends and see some fun pop culture updates. But these apps are designed to keep your attention long beyond what you would voluntarily give them. And at that point, it becomes an activity that doesn’t make us feel good. Other tasks that fit this description for me are phone games, online window shopping, and daydreaming.

Specials are big once-in-a-while treats. These are items that make me feel good but require significant time and/or financial commitments. My list includes trips/traveling, concerts, theater performances, seeing a game in person museums, manicures/pedicures, and massages.

This list has been really helpful in reminding me of what tasks I should include more in my day-to-day to keep my mood and motivation up. This list has also helped me feel more satisfied with my life as I’m spending my time and attention on the things that matter to me. I would encourage you to make a dopamine menu, even if you don’t wind up using it again it is a great exercise in exploring our interests and values. Feel free to share your items or suggestions in the comments.