Making the Internet My Accountability Partner

As humans, we strive for perfection, an ideal that is impossible to achieve. As it is an ideal there is a sense of constancy with perfection. To be perfect, or close to it, we must be good in the same ways throughout any circumstances life throws our way. However, that is not how life works. We see nature and the world around us changing day by day, and somehow think we are separate and above this natural change. Just as life goes through different seasons with different priorities, sometimes valuing growth and sometimes valuing rest, we too must realize that change is necessary for life. Different circumstances require different approaches, and require us to re-evaluate our priorities and sometimes even our values.

I think I too often allow this desire for constancy and perfection to cloud my judgment of what is actually good for me. Especially in regard to my mental health, the goal of “being in control” often gets conflated with the idea of never changing. I tell myself I must always be energized and motivated or I must always be engaging in certain habits. But that pressure to achieve the unachievable is only setting me up for failure. As I get older it gets easier to recognize that what is best for me is adapting to the changing circumstances of my life and doing what is best for me with what is available and achievable in that moment.

Looking back I realize the change of seasons is everywhere in my life. There are formal transitions -high school, college/grad school, moving out- and informal transitions -loss of friendships, various hobbies, changing goals. Each period of my life, each phase, has been an essential part of making me who I am. I got to learn new things about myself and the world around me. I know that no matter how much I may dislike the turmoil of change, it is something I’ll be grateful for in the long term.