Making the Internet My Accountability Partner

Last weekend was my cousin’s graduation from the prep school I attended. It was a beautiful ceremony and I couldn’t be prouder of all of her accomplishments. I hadn’t been back to the school in years, so it was nice to see some of the changes that have taken place. I also ran into a couple familiar faces. As good as it was to see everyone, my insecurities reared their ugly head.

Naturally, people asked about what I had been up to. This was such an academically rigorous school that I was almost reduced to tears in front of my Spanish teacher (no fault of his he was super kind) because I couldn’t handle four AP classes my senior year. For some reason returning after 7 years to say that I work as a therapist felt not good enough in my head.

I am proud of the work that I do and I know that this career is the best for me at this point in my life. The solid work-life boundaries that I have with this job allow me to give so much of myself to volunteer efforts and hobbies. I have every right to be proud of myself, but for brief moments I couldn’t see that.

And of course, this is all juxtaposed against the momentous occasion of my cousin’s graduation. I’m learning life lessons, and there’s a call for me to share them with her too. She will of course have to find her own way, but I’m hoping to be a support for her. I’ll close out this post with some advice I wish had listened to more at her age.

High school and college are about preparing you intellectually for a future in the workforce. But you will have to exist in your life 24/7, not just during work hours. Finding who you are, what you want your life to be, and what makes you happy cannot take a backseat. You are the only one who gets to define your happiness and your success. So this will take some exploring, you’ll have to try new things and maybe even fail a couple times along the way. It’s all okay. You are so loved.

P.S. A note on the featured photo: This is me from my graduation in 2017. According to tradition girls were required to wear white and typically also carried a bouquet of flowers at graduation, our school did not do caps and gowns. So yes it very much looks like a wedding, but it’s just prep school traditions.