Making the Internet My Accountability Partner

Featured Photo by José Martín Ramírez Carrasco on Unsplash

I have a tendency to fall into depressive habits, including self isolation. Part of what helps me keep my head above water is building into my schedule in person events. Usually this is something like a nature program at the arboretum or a volunteer shift. However, sometimes I can get overzealous and sign my self up for multiple obligations in one week, which can overwhelm and exhaust me, which can lead me to lean into self isolation and ignoring my routine.

It’s so tough to feel overwhelmed by things that interest you. I don’t want to create resentment towards my hobbies. And unfortunately my hobbies and interest are varied. I have like 4 different places I like to volunteer, I have at least two hobbies that I like to engage in at home, plus I have fitness goals I’d like to work on. Not to mention special occasions or outings I’m interested in. It can often feel really overwhelming, but I hate the idea of cutting anything out because it all brings me joy.

I know I need balance. I need to be able to consistently show up for the things and people I care about and for myself. Logically I know I need to limit myself to really only two structured obligations a week. That way I can still work in some time for fitness, for hobbies, and for spontaneity without getting overwhelmed. I can identify one barrier that is feeling like I can’t say no to my interests. I am curious if there are other barriers I haven’t identified that have kept me from finding appropriate balance.

Even if just for the one barrier I’ve identified what are the remedies? Something I tell my clients is that you have to practice things you aren’t good at, including communication between the rational and emotional parts of your brain. However, I get that it feels awful. My emotional brain is struggling with listening to the directions of my logical brain.

Being human is hard. Being human with a mental illness is so difficult. But each day is a learning experience and no one has to have it all figured out. I just wished I was in a place with this that I was proud of.