Making the Internet My Accountability Partner

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This morning as I was brushing my teeth and washing my face I per usual started at the mirror. I noticed something new. My first gray hair. Despite my strong values of body positivity, especially as it regards to aging as a woman, my first reaction was to panic. I’m only 25 I can’t be getting old! There was some initial desire to make a plan to dye my hair again to cover it. Now I’m not saying I’ll never dye my hair again, but I don’t want shame of my body and the aging process to be the motivator.

Another interesting reaction I had to noticing my first gray was that I wanted to immediately reach out to friends and family and commiserate/laugh at this new change. But I stopped myself for the most part. I knew logically I didn’t want to make a spectacle of this very normal part of life. I didn’t want to set that precedent for my loved ones and plant or exacerbate any insecurities about their bodies and experience of aging.

This is another area where practicing what I preach is the hardest part. I tell my clients almost every day that self love is a lifelong process as we are consistently growing and changing as people. I counsel them through their emotions and self esteem challenges. Now I have to use the skills I teach. I suspect I’ll be ok long term but I wanted to take a moment to acknowledge and normalize that knowing something logically doesn’t inherently mean you know it emotionally and it’s ok to sometimes struggle with things that are important to you.