Making the Internet My Accountability Partner

At the wind-down of summer, life started getting super hectic. My mental health plummeted, so fall and winter were spent keeping my head above water. Unfortunately, that meant I neglected my garden. It was January before I realized my plants were dead and probably needed to be removed. Of course, January in New England meant everything was frozen, so it wasn’t until recently that I was able to assess what needed to leave and what could stay.

I was not terribly surprised to notice the mint was growing back, but I also noticed the chives were growing again. The basil was completely dead, as were the cucumber, tomato, and strawberry plants. The lavender also seemed dead, but I really want to keep a lavender plant in my garden, so I decided to give it a few more days to assess if it will revive or if I need to replace it.

I have one planter that has no plant currently in it. I am still considering my options for what to plant. Previously, I have focused on edible plants. I did enjoy having a tomato plant, so I may get another one and enjoy its fruits. But I am also feeling drawn to flowers for the sake of beauty. Last summer, I had three potted plants that I kept in the partial shade of the patio. Unfortunately, they also fell victim to the fall/winter neglect. I’m afraid they’re all dead. I’d love to try to revive or replace my pencil cactus and my purple heart spider plant. I will then have one empty pot in which I can plant some flowers.

As excited as I am for new beginnings, I can’t help but worry if the shutdown I experienced at the end of last summer will happen again. How do I make gardening a sustainable practice for me? I fear the answer is vulnerability. I may just need to let people close to me know what is happening. I may need to ask for help and not allow my mind to shame me for receiving help. I can tell others all day, every day, that it is courageous to ask for help and it is so beneficial to have and lean on our village, but practicing that myself is so much tougher.