Making the Internet My Accountability Partner

Eight years ago my best friend and I went to the town fair. We had a great time going on rides and playing games. One of the games was a ring toss with the possibility of winning a goldfish. Her and I won two fish. I had had fish previously and I had a tank that was then empty. So it was agreed that I would look after both fish. When it came to names we both decided to take literary inspiration since we both love reading. I named one fish Aldonza Lorenza from Don Quixote and she named one Victor Frankenstein from Mary Shelley’s classic. Aldonza unfortunately had the typical survival rate for a fair fish and passed a couple weeks later. However, Victor thrived. He was with me as I finished high school, through college, and moved to Boston with me once I graduated.

I don’t know how old he was when I got him, but he was with me for 8 years and in that time he grew a few inches larger. When he was younger I used to be able to play with him by dragging my finger across the tank and he would follow. I tried a few different things for enrichment but he never showed any interest in anything else. My routine revolved around his needs. He was a constant comforting presence in my life. On Friday September 13, I fed him at 8:30 and he was doing just fine, however by 10am I look over and he was lying on his side on the bottom of the tank. I didn’t see any movement from him and genuinely thought he was gone then. My best friend (and now roommate) came to look at him and it was then that he started trying to swim again. I (with the help of my boyfriend) called around to a few vets to get an emergency appointment for Victor. We eventually found one that had same day availability and I took the rest of the day off work.

The vet staff was just as concerned as I was and they were so comforting. The vet believed he likely had an infection of some sort so we would try giving him medications to see if he could clear it. Sunday morning however, he was non responsive. Given what happened Friday I didn’t want to jump to conclusions so I went on a preplanned and prepaid date, asking my roommate to check in on Victor and confirm. Sadly, there was no mistake.

My beloved pet was gone. On Monday I started making arrangements and found a place that would cremate him. I was sad up until that point at his passing, but with the finality of this last appointment, I lost it. Even now sitting next to his empty tank and remembering him brings me to tears. Words simply aren’t enough to describe the pain, however I know in time I will be able to see this grief as a part of how much he meant to me and how he enriched my life.