Making the Internet My Accountability Partner

Years ago, when I worked at a psychiatric hospital, a coworker gifted us coloring pages with a motto reminding us to practice self-care. It came at the exact moment it was needed for me. I was getting burnt out and considering quitting. I thoroughly enjoyed the process of mindful low-pressure creativity. I also had a tap and color game on my phone, and it was easily my favorite app to use. I’d put on a show or a podcast and color the time away. So I decided to take the leap and buy a couple of adult coloring books and some colored pencils.

At first, I did use the coloring book regularly, but my usage dropped after just a few weeks. I still returned every once in a while, especially when things got really stressful with the move this spring. But I always felt like I should be coloring more; I felt like I had wasted money and was wasting space with this hobby I practiced so infrequently. Around the time of my move, I also got into sticker collecting. When I came across a cheap booklet of colorable stickers in Target, I jumped at the chance to combine two hobbies.

At this point, my coloring pencils were over a year old, and I had used them enough that they were no longer super sharp. I also didn’t own a pencil sharpener. I started to recognize that I wanted bolder, more saturated colors than the pencils could give me. That’s when I noticed a set of gel pens on sale at BJ’s, so I thought about it and bought them. I was consistently coloring for a couple of weeks, but I wasn’t coloring in the book I was working on with the colored pencils. With the pens, I was coloring the stickers and then starting on the other coloring book I bought over a year ago. When I got bored with the limited color options with the pens, I switched back to the colored pencils and the original coloring book I was working on, this time with a pencil sharpener.

While I did overall have a better experience with the colored pencils, I realized I had issues with the coloring book that limited my enjoyment, and so made me less likely to reach for it. For some reason, I am committed to one coloring book being my soft colored pencil book and the other being the more vibrantly colored book. Still, I wanted more color range than the pens could give me. So I finally gave in to the influencing and bought a set of 60 Ohuhu markers on sale for $20. Since getting these markers, I have been coloring almost nonstop. I fully feel the money spent on the markers, pens, and coloring books has been well spent for the enjoyment it has been bringing me.

Still, I know I am so much more likely to reach for the markers and the coloring book I like. It makes me wonder what I should do with the colored pencils and the other book. Part of me is a completionist and wants to just push through. Part of me fully believes that with the sharpener and a book I like, I could really enjoy using colored pencils, but is it worth it to buy another coloring book to find out? If I got another coloring book for my colored pencils, will I be ok parting with the book that’s cute but not enjoyable to use? I will likely be taking a long time to think this over. I have so much I can currently look forward to with my hobbies, I won’t stress to perfect this one aspect of one of them. I am just curious to know what decision I will eventually make and what will lead me to that decision. If you were in my shoes, what would you do?